Guy Talk
by Jaddy Smith
Summary: What do Puck and the guys from Glee really talk about in the locker rooms? ONESHOT! Purtness - Kurt/Puck. Rated R. Xoxo


**Like all my work, this was written back in 2010, but I didn't finish it. Then _NoBetterUsernameIdeas_ wrote the story called Bragging, and it just felt like I would be copying his or her story if I published mine. So I messaged them and asked if it was okay to publish mine and they said sure. SO HERE IT IS! :P**

**Sorry that its so short :(**

**Now there are a lot of similarities to Bragging, but trust me, I'm not trying to rip anyone off, to each their own, mines mostly gay porn anyway, which is AWESOME! :P**

**WARNING: This story contains frequent course language and very explicit themes… GAYNESS TOO :P**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Glee Ryan Murphy does…**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Guy Talk<strong>_

"Man my weekend sucked." Moaned Finn as he took off his football gear. "M'still getting nowhere with Rachel. She's so still, even when we kiss. I swear to God she's like a fricken rock."

"Yea, well Tina insists that it stays 'above the confines of her clothes'. Girls." Artie scoffed. "And she keeps making goo goo eyes at Mike."

"Hey, she's just liking the abs." Mike said lifting up his jersey, exposing his rock hard abs – which Sam started poking with his index finger, amused for some reason.

"Could you blame her?" Mumbled Sam under his breath. No one could hear him over the noise of all the jocks getting ready to go home after two hours spent practicing.

Puck slammed his locker and groaned in frustration.

"Would you quit your whining. You all sound like a bunch of old women." He said lifting his sweat-drenched shirt over his head.

"And how's the cougar searching goin' for you Puckerman? Found any good cheerio pussy to delve into?" McMahon queried.

"Nah man, but I'm over all that."

"You serious? The Puckerzilla, pussy chaser extraordinaire is giving up chasing cunt?"

"Man I don't need to, I've already found someone with just the right amount of 'pussy'." He said grinning wickedly inside.

"Oh yea, and who is this skank?" Karofsky asked.

"She goes to McKinley." He stated

"And what she into?" asked Azimio.

"Everything, anything I want to try she does. And she's no stranger to a lil' spankin', so I bend her over my knee, but the filthy slut humps against my leg. So I have to give it to her extra hard."

"What's she like with her mouth?" O'Donahue chimed in.

"Fucking awesome, she can tie a double knot into a cherry stem with her tongue and her mouth is always so warm and wet by the time I fuck it, and she can fit my whole cock down her throat, which considering my size is a fucking astonishing sight. But the sight of her going down on me, looking up at me as she gags on my cock. Watching her mouth go all the way down… her wet pink lips tightly wrapped around my shaft… it's enough to get me off right here"

"Man, why do you always get the good ones" mumbled Finn.

"Dude, we should totally have a threesome." Sam said high-fiving Puck.

"How tight is she?" Nelson asked.

"My God, so tight, and wet, and warm. It's like sticking my dick inside an oven. Her hole is sometimes just begging me to fuck it – gaping at me. I came home one night from fight club and found her fingering herself, using the dildo I bought her, ON MY BED! Her juice staining my sheets. But I made her lick 'em clean… And her vocal range, sometimes I can only fuck her when my mum and sis are out, she's that loud. So we sneak to her house, but her dad's so fucking protective, but I won him over."

"So she's a screamer aye Puckerman?"

"Oh yea. And a biter… Jaws of fucking steel man."

"And man, I'll go through the bossiness and mood swings any day. Being able to watch her ass walk down these halls, in her skimpy outfits, knowing that I get to take it home a fuck it is the best. After I've pounded her mouth, I roll her onto her side and fuck her soft, pert ass. The feeling when it's wrapped around my dick, fuuuck." Puck finished his sentence with a moan.

He undid the cord on his shorts and dropped them to the floor, exposing his tanned ass. He turned and kept talking, totally uncaring that he was naked.

"This one time, she totally let me fall asleep while still inside her and man, let me tell you, every time she inhaled, she clenched, and fuck, I had to turn her onto her stomach and fuck her doggy style just to get some sleep. And oh, is she a fan of doggy."

"What's her pussy taste like?" asked Griffins.

"Fucking bitter sweet, sometimes I cant even taste the strawberry lube she buys over the taste of her cunt and same goes with her ass. She is sooo fucking sensitive that she screams when I stick my tongue in."

"Oh man, you've gotta give me her number." Finn said.

"What's her name?" Artie asked with all the guys leaning in to find out.

Puck wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way to the showers, yelling two words over his shoulder.

"Kurt Hummel."

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><p><strong>Hope you all enjoyed it! its basically porn. There was a couple gay puns in there for Sam, thought that might be funny. ;) figure em out, their not too hard :P<strong>

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

**JAYDEN :D**


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